October 24, 2022

The Role of Questions in Discipleship and Evangelism

Are questions a significant part of your discipleship and evangelism? Should they be? I think so, and here are three reasons why:

1. It’s what Jesus did.

Throughout the Gospels, Jesus asked people 307 different questions while ministering to others. Conversely, he was only asked 183 (of which he only really answered 3). This significant difference tells us that questions were a key tool used in ministry and we should follow that example.

2. It works.

Asking questions involves the other person and gets them thinking. When we ask questions, the other person can’t stay passive in the conversation; they actually have to engage with and think about the topic and their response. This sort of engagement is far more likely to lead to depth and potential change than simply a monologue. As a bonus, asking questions puts the two of us on the same side—trying to figure something out together, shoulder to shoulder, rather than me versus you.

3. It’s loving and respectful.

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” — David Augsburger.

Asking people good questions and giving them a space to express and work through their opinions is a sure way to make them feel loved—even if we disagree with them. This is especially true for young people, who rarely feel they have a space to express opinions. Jesus told us to love others well, and this is a relatively simple but not insignificant way to do just that.

Now we need to address how to ask questions well. Let’s start with 5 types of questions and how to use them: Closed, Open, Leading, Clarifying, and Calibrating.

Type 1 – Closed Questions

We tend to think of closed questions as bad. They aren’t; they just serve a specific purpose. A closed question can be answered objectively and within a couple of seconds. This obviously includes “Yes” or “No” questions like “Is this your first camp?” or “Do you have any siblings?” but could also sound like “where are you from?” or “what’s your name?”

A closed question is an easy home run for the brain, and it makes us feel more comfortable in a conversation. This is why starting conversations with closed questions is a good strategy.

These questions are also great for giving your conversationalist a short mental break in the midst of more taxing questions, thus providing some rhythm to the conversation, like a good drum beat.

Type 2 – Open Questions

This is the most familiar type of question for most of us. Open questions require more thought and explanation to answer, and they serve to open up the conversation. Said another way, open questions create possibility, allowing our conversation partner to show us where they would like to go in this conversation. Some typical open questions sound like “what do you think about ____?” or “how did you feel when ____?”

Type 3 – Leading Questions

When we hear “leading questions,” most of us think of questions that come across as manipulative or forceful. A bad leading question is one that is really just an opinion with a question mark thrown in at the end; however, good leading questions help people think about what they want or need next. For example, one could ask: “how would you like that to happen?”, “what obstacle might get in your way?”, or “how would you like me to help?”

Leading questions are especially helpful and kind for teenagers, who biologically often have not yet developed the part of their brain that can make complex plans or analyses on their own. Asking them a good leading question not only helps them think ahead in that area, but also trains their brain to be better at this in general, paying dividends down the road.

Type 4 – Clarifying Questions

People say lots of things, often without realizing what they are actually saying. Clarifying questions verbalize and confirm what is said and also unsaid. Again, teenagers often don’t think down the line of what their thoughts might lead to, so a clarifying question can be key in helping them see where their train of thought is leading.

An example of this could be, when in conversation someone says “I think the idea of God is fine if people need something like that to be okay, but I don’t really need that.”

“Do you mean believing in God is a crutch that some people need?”

“Yeah, I guess so …. which is fine. I just don’t need it.”

“It kind of sounds like you think people who believe in God are weaker than you. Is that true?”

“Well, maybe, yeah. But I don’t like that.”

Other clarifying questions often start with “are you saying that ____?” or “do you feel/think ____?” Notice that these are often framed more as closed questions, but most often will be followed up with an additional comment.

Type 5 – Calibrating Questions

As a youth leader, these are actually my favorite questions! Calibrating questions help people (and you!) see where they feel they are. These often attempt to quantify or rate something that till now has been vague. For example, “You say you want to grow in your prayer life. What grade would you give your prayers right now? Why that grade and not one higher or lower?” This gets everyone on the same page and helps people evaluate where they actually are, instead of just feeling way worse (or better) than they really should be feeling. (A natural follow up leading question after they answer this would be “What would it take to improve that grade by 1?”)

Other great Calibrating Questions sound something like “on a scale of 1-10, how do you feel about ____?,” or “if you had 7 points to assign to your feelings about ____, where would you put them?”

These 5 types all flow together to create a natural conversation. Most conversations will do well to start with 2-4 closed questions, followed by an open question or two, and then just follow up as needed. When something gets really vague, ask a calibrating question. If you are spinning in circles around something, ask a clarifying question, and if all that remains is to start making changes, go for a leading question.

Lastly, here are my 3 tips for question-asking in discipleship and evangelism:

Tip 1 – Get them to say “no”

This is stolen from Chris Voss, FBI Hostage Negotiator Trainer. Saying “yes” to someone feels like committing to something, but saying “no” makes you feel safe and in control. A hesitant “yes” often means your conversation partner is trying to think of a polite way to escape, but a “no” is a solid decision and actually is a commitment to stay engaged in the conversation. For example, instead of “Could I take up a couple minutes of your time?”, try “Would you be against us talking for a few minutes?” This is tricky and feels awkward at first, but people are far more likely to respond with a positive “no,” and will even often give more information in the same breath.

If you want the long version of this (from a secular perspective) check out Chris’ video about the power of “No”

Tip 2 – Be slow to use “why?”

Working with teens often means trying to understand why in the world they think that. But, asking them straight up “why do you think that?” will most likely get the response of “I don’t know…” The word “why” is vague —it overwhelms our brains. Instead of asking “why,” try asking “did you do that because it seemed like the most fun, it felt like the only option, it just felt right, or something else?” Giving a couple options makes it way easier for someone to identify what the reason was, or, at the very least, what it wasn’t. This usually helps people more quickly reach the “why” without ever using the word.

Tip 3 – Ask bold and direct questions.

This needs to be filtered by the culture you are in, but Gen Z values authenticity very highly. They don’t like feeling manipulated, and they appreciate the breaking of taboos. Most of them long to talk frankly about serious things like sexuality, morals, spirituality, etc., but rarely feel that adults want to engage in such topics. Boldly asking a well-crafted and direct question gives them the opportunity to engage in these topics, and most teenagers will jump at the opportunity.

All that’s left now is to start asking good questions. It will take practice and some awkwardness, but the people in your life will thank you for it. So, go forth and ask!

Related Posts

Read Story

Online Ministry, Stories

Four Years of “Josiah Venture Stories”

It is the human condition to dream. Five years ago, I dreamed of starting a podcast for Josiah Venture. I approached the then-director of the International Team, Kyle Evans, and told him of my idea for a Josiah Venture podcast. He asked, “Who do you imagine hosting this podcast?” After a short pause, I replied, “Um…me?” To which he said, “My thoughts exactly.” I knew this was what God was asking me to do.  The podcast, “Josiah Venture Stories,” was officially launched on April 6th, 2021, roughly a year after this initial conversation. It took a little while to get the ball rolling. I needed time to research the best equipment, come up with the name, decide on the format and structure, and everything else that goes with starting a podcast. I enjoy thinking through the strategy and practical steps for a process, and it’s exciting to see a dream become a plan and a plan become reality. A common statistic in podcasting is that 90% of podcasts don’t publish more than three episodes. Many dreams come crashing to a quick end due to the lack of traction and momentum. Some podcasts fail because there isn’t a clear content strategy, episodes are released sporadically, the quality is poor, or proper marketing and promotion are lacking.  To be in the top 1% of podcasts in the world, you only need to publish 21 episodes. This month, the “Josiah Venture Stories” podcast has published 121 episodes featuring various missionaries, Josiah Venture kids, interns, short-term missions team members, alumni, and more. That is something to celebrate! My favorite part of hosting the podcast is hearing about God’s faithfulness, journeys of faith, and the unlikely stories of how people became missionaries. Multiple responses to the question, “How did you know God was calling you to full-time missions?” start with, “Well, I never thought I would be a missionary.” This proves that we never know what God is going to do with our lives or where the roads of life might lead. God simply asks us to trust him. I have repeatedly asked guests on the podcast, “What message of hope would you give to young people today?” The responses are always insightful and inspirational.   Baška from Slovakia said, “I usually tell them to trust God and his plan. I know it’s really difficult, and it seems easy to say but harder to live, but every time that I trusted God, it was better than I expected. Trusting God gave me so much hope and so much peace.” Mark Krupa, a missionary who has lived in the Czech Republic for 26 years, said, “ I would encourage them to look into the living water. Jesus went around saying, ‘I am living water. Come to me and you won’t thirst again.’ Spiritually, young people are hungry, and Jesus can fill them. I would encourage young people to look into what the secret of Christianity is. Colossians 1:27 says, ‘To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.’ The secret of Christianity is actually Jesus in you.” Not only does this podcast exist to tell long-form stories of the movement of God among the youth of Central and Eastern Europe, but it also encourages the listener as they hear stories for all ages. If you have listened to the podcast once or to every episode, thank you. Would you please consider, not just listening, but also sharing an episode or two with a friend or on your social media? Another thing that truly goes a long way in the podcasting world is reviews. Do you enjoy our podcast? Help more people discover our podcast by following us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and writing us an honest review. Here’s what people are saying about the podcast: “What a rich podcast—full of encouragement, new insights and perspectives about what God is doing in central and Eastern Europe.” -Ben_Rob_27 “Last summer, I went with a group from my church in Colorado to stay in Albania for a month and help with summer camps. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life! One of my favorite parts about this experience was hearing the life stories of the people in charge, how they came to be a part of this amazing organization, and their hearts behind the ministry that they are doing. This podcast gives you an even deeper and wider insight into the organization as a whole. You are able to hear what is truly going on in different countries from those living there. It’s so inspiring as a young adult to hear the ways God is moving through the faithful servants he has called to make an impact on people my age and younger. Thanks for sharing these stories!” -Kiko1170 Thank you for listening, investing in the ministry of Josiah Venture, and hearing the stories of our missionaries.

Read Story

Discipleship, Events, Stories

The Unseen War

Three years of conflict and still no peace. The war in Ukraine has returned to the forefront of the news as world leaders clash in a spin cycle of opinions. Those in the country feel the weight of years of exhausting conflict, with no clear end in sight. But behind the scenes, another battle is raging for the spiritual soul of the nation.  Amidst pain, hardship, and struggle, God is still at work and our JV team of 27 staff are pressing forward to take ground in the fight. During the last weekend of February, they gathered 450 young people from local churches across Ukraine for an innovative “Spring Fest.” Good Bible teaching, powerful worship, and personal testimonies were woven together to point people to the resources they have in Christ. He is the only firm anchor for our souls in the midst of a raging storm. The storm is particularly fierce for these young people. Some of the youth groups meet close enough to the front lines to hear the sound of bombing all day and live with the constant threat of evacuation and displacement.   One youth group from Kharkiv, en route to the fest, had their main youth leader forcefully conscripted into the military. Can you imagine if that happened to a youth group from your church?  Yet, our sovereign God is always working to accomplish his purposes despite the evil and failures of man. In fact, he often uses these unwelcome trials to accelerate his work. Our team is experiencing an unprecedented response to the gospel and a passionate hunger in young people to grow deep in their walks with God. With the exodus of leaders out of the country or into the military, there is a huge need to equip a new generation of leaders, and our training events are packed. Other JV countries are using the crisis to mobilize their young people into mission. Recently, our JV team in Slovakia held a series of events for 250 youth leaders called “Glow and Go.” Their goal was to inspire, mobilize, and energize young leaders into personal transformation and bold outreach.  As a result, 12 Slovaks traveled into war-torn Ukraine to serve at the Spring Fest.  They led worship, organized eight workshops, and served in numerous practical ways. But most of all, they told these young people that they were not forgotten and not alone. More teams from Slovakia and the Czech Republic will be assisting with evangelistic camps. When under pressure from the enemy, the best strategy is forward motion. Thank you for joining us in the spiritual battle for Ukraine.       

Read Story

Evangelism, Stories

When we say “Yes”

Dear Friends, What happens when we say “yes”? Ermal was obsessed with soccer as a child and headed to university in his home country of Albania with the dream to become a famous professional player. He never quite made the top level of performance required and was deeply discouraged. At the same time, he was growing in his relationship with God under the disciplemaking care of a local pastor. Hearing God’s call into ministry, he said “yes” to a major life change and returned to his small village to shepherd a local congregation of just 35 believers. But his passion for young people–⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and for soccer–⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠never left. So, when our JV Albania team approached him four years ago with the invitation to join JV and develop a sports ministry in his church and throughout his valley, he heard the call of God and said “yes.” In just a few years, Ermal had started Edge Soccer teams in six villages with no prior evangelical witness, reaching over 60 young people every week. A part of every practice was a short Bible study, and the young boys were relationally shepherded to faith in Christ. After a time of prayer in early November of 2024, Ermal came to his wife Nertila with an outlandish vision. “I believe God is calling us to share the gospel with 1000 young people before Christmas.” “Are you kidding me?” his wife replied. “I was thinking like a human,” she later shared. “How can we reach 1000 kids in such a short period of time?” “I don’t have any ideas,” Ermal said, “but I think God is calling us.” “I was very challenged,” Nertila reflected later, “and didn’t know how to handle that pressure. But then I said, ‘Here I am God, if you want to use us. Let your will be done.’” Then, out of the blue, a call came from Operation Mobilization, who wanted to send 6 people from Moldova to help with whatever they wanted. Ermal said “yes.” Next, Ermal had an idea to request 1000 Shoebox gift packages from Samaritan’s purse. It was an unusual request, but they said “yes.” He contacted six schools and asked if he could share the story of Jesus at Christmas.  Albania is historically Muslim, and the directors are not allowed to do anything religious in the school building. “Would you be willing to talk to our students outside?” they asked. He said “yes.” It was a simple program. Two songs, a 15-minute message about Jesus, and heartfelt testimonies from the Moldovans. And, of course, some shoebox gifts. But the students were very open, and many asked to hear more about Jesus. Others gave their addresses and wanted to join the youth activities. The director of the largest school is now meeting regularly with Ermal for Bible study.  When Christmas came, they counted the numbers and realized that over 1000 young people had heard a clear gospel message in just a few short weeks. A simple “yes” to the call of God brought miraculous fruit. This month, you also said “yes” through your gifts and prayers. Thank you.